Quotations: Taxes

Count the day won when, turning on its axis, This earth imposes no additional taxes.
Franklin P. Adams

People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.

We must care for each other more, and tax each other less.
Bill Archer

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
Dave Barry

Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.
Gerald Barzan

Tax complexity itself is a kind of tax.
Max Baucus

There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure.
Dan Bennett

The United States has a system of taxation by confession.
Hugo Black

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
Peg Bracken

Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.
Lord Bramwell

To tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men.
Edmund Burke

I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed.
Nancie J. Carmody

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke

When there's a single thief, it's robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation.
Vanya Cohen

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing.
Jean Baptist Colbert

The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.
John S. Coleman

Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.
Calvin Coolidge

It was as true... as taxes is. And nothing's truer than them.
Charles Dickens

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
Albert Einstein

Of all debts, men are least willing to pay their taxes; what a satire this is on government.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The flat tax would be so simple, you could fill it out on a post card. A post card that would say, in effect, having a wonderful time; glad most of my money is here.
Steve Forbes

The politicians say we can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians.
Steve Forbes

I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.
Arthur Godfrey

Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: animals have instincts, we have taxes.
Erving Goffman

The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.
Barry Goldwater

No government can exist without taxation. This money must necessarily be levied on the people; and the grand art consists of levying so as not to oppress.
Frederick the Great

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.
Robert Half

Capital punishment: The income tax.
Jeff Hayes

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
Robert Heinlein

Taxes are what we pay for civilized society.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

If the Lord loveth a cheerful giver, how he must hate the taxpayer!
John Andrew Holmes

I like to pay taxes. With them I buy civilization.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Any tax is a discouragement and therefore a regulation so far as it goes.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

The purse of the people is the real seat of sensibility. Let it be drawn upon largely, and they will then listen to truths which could not excite them through any other organ.
Thomas Jefferson

Our tax code is so long it makes War and Peace seem breezy.
Steven LaTourette

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.
Russell B. Long

The power of taxing people and their property is essential to the very existence of government.
James Madison

Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either.
Mignon McLaughlin

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
H.L. Mencken

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.
Ogden Nash

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.
Alfred E. Neuman

It's about ten times the size of the Bible - and unlike the Bible, contains no good news.
Don Nickles

What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.
Thomas Paine

If we don't do something to simplify the tax system, we're going to end up with a national police force of internal revenue agents.
Leon Panetta

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form.
Laurence J. Peter

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
Laurence J. Peter

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.

The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it's more like a tired feeling, really.
Paula Poundstone

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.
F. J. Raymond

The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
Ronald Reagan

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
Chris Rock

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
Will Rogers

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
Will Rogers

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.
Will Rogers

Taxes, after all, are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

The sales tax seems to be more politically acceptable than the income tax.
Raymond C. Scheppach

We are told that this is an odious and unpopular tax. I never knew a tax that was not odious and unpopular with the people who paid it.
John Sherman

The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose.
William Simon

There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some.
Martin A. Sullivan

I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it.
Bob Thaves

To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.
Benjamin Tucker

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.
Mark Twain

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Mark Twain

Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn't be related.
J.C. Watts

The payment of taxes gives a right to protection.
James M. Wayne

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
Herman Wouk

All the Congress, all the accountants and tax lawyers, all the judges, and a convention of wizards all cannot tell for sure what the income tax law says.
Walter B. Wriston

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