Quotations: God

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
Woody Allen

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen

God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them.

You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God.

Maybe the atheist cannot find God for the same reason a thief cannot find a policeman.

God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.

The gods too are fond of a joke.

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.
St. Augustine

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Mel Brooks

I'm still an atheist, thank God.
Luis Bunuel

Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.
Mary C. Crowley

I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world.
Georges Duhamel

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
Albert Einstein

I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice.
Albert Einstein

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Galileo Galilei

I could prove God statistically.
George Gallup

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Art Hoppe

Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees.
Victor Hugo

Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat.
Sir Julian Huxley

Young man, young man, your arm's too short to box with God.
James Weldon Johnson

A man with God is always in the majority.
John Knox

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
C.S. Lewis

Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.
C.S. Lewis

God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.
Stanley Lindquist

God help those who do not help themselves.
Wilson Mizner

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker

What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.
Eleanor Powell

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
Jewish Proverb

I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
Jules Renard

Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all the apples in one seed.
Robert H. Schuller

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.
Mother Teresa

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth!
Henry David Thoreau

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
Paul Valery

God is a comic, playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh.

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
Peter De Vries

God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.
Reggie White

I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.
Oscar Wilde

Since open-mindedness and experimentation are supposed to be the indispensable attributes of our 'scientific' civilization, it seems strange that so many scientists are reluctant to try out personally the hypothesis that God came first and man afterward. They prefer to believe that man is the chance product of evolution; that God, the Creator, does not exist. I can only report that I have experimented with both concepts and that, in my case, the God concept has proved to be a better basis for living than the man-centered one. Nevertheless, I would be the first to defend your right to think as you will. I simply ask this question: in your own life, have you ever really tried to think and act as though there might be a God? Have you experimented?
Bill Wilson

If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
George Winters

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